The Good, The Bad and The Popular

My beloved offspring have discovered a show on Cartoon Network called "Robot Chicken".

The other day, they asked me to type in the code so that they could DVR an episode that was a spoof of Star Wars. Diminutive One is a HUGE Star Wars fan, and he was practically salivating with anticipation.

And I did, because it was Cartoon Network, and hello..."Robot Chicken". Would you watch a show called Robot Chicken? I wouldn't watch a show called Robot Chicken. And besides, our parental controls often flag content that is completely innocuous. You can understand why I really didn't give it a second thought as I punched in the code.

Unfortunately, I didn't realize it was part of their "Adult Swim" lineup. Yeah.

They have episodes like "Secrets of the Animal Kingdom presents, The Lemming: Nature's Retard" and "Toy Meets Girl" and "Joint Point". Again, yeah. Be informed people. Parents don't let parents drive ignorant.

You can watch some of those episodes here, but they have not released the full content of the Star Wars special for internet distribution yet. You can find short clips on YouTube if you are so inclined.

So let me just say...it was completely. Flipppin. Hilarious.

It was also completely inappropriate for children.

In one scene, Han Solo has just been encased in carbonite. Boba Fet approaches the frozen Han and lovingly caresses his bronze cheek. He says in a soft, beguiling voice...

"Look how you have your hands up like that. Almost like you're surrendering. Yeeeaaaah...you like that don't ya? Oh, you're a baaaaaaaad space cowboy."

I almost wet my pants. I laughed hard and I laughed long. And when I stopped, Diminutive One asked with touching naivete, "Why is that funny?"

After that, I paid closer attention.

In another scene, the Dubyas are lying bed, and Laura is sulking because George has denied her request to have a threesome.

It was at that point that I sighed and said "Alright boys, I'm sorry, but this has to go off. It's completely inappropriate."

This, understandably, was met with howls of protest.

"I'm sorry boys" I said, "But I can't in good conscience allow you to watch something that is not suitable for children your age. Especially something this..."

"Funny?" supplied Pre-Pubescent One, ever the smart ass.

"Raunchy." I corrected.

Diminutive One asked, "What does 'in good conscience' mean?"

"It means that I can't let you watch this and be confident that I am being a good Mom."

Diminutive One was silent for a moment, but I knew that wasn't the end of it. Then he said,

"You know, It's okay if you're not always a good Mom. In fact, I think I like it better sometimes when you're not a good Mom."

Pre-Pubescent One expressed his most emphatic agreement.

"And besides Mom" continued Diminutive One, "I don't even know what that means. How can it be inappropriate, if I don't even understand what they're talking about?"

He may have passed 3rd grade by the skin of his teeth, but you mark my words, that kid is going to be leader of the free world someday.

Against my better judgement, I let them watch the rest of the show, and then immediately deleted it from the queue.

Diminutive One inquired about my conscience.

"So, did you tell your conscience just to leave you alone and let you make your own decision? I do that sometimes."

You don't say.

So that day, I was not a good Mom. But maybe not entirely bad either. I was, just this once...the cool Mom. The Popular Mom. The Mom that they like. The Mom they brag to their friends about. The Mom they don't shoot pouty malelvolent glares beneath furrowed brows. The Mom they don't make talk talk talk faces at behind her back.

I wish I could be that Mom everyday. It would make things a whole hell of a lot easier.

Being a Good Mom blows.

FOOTNOTE: Apparently I wasn't paying close enough attention. The scene between George and Laura wasn't her sulking. It was George using the force on her to want a threesome. With Condi. Funny stuff.