Thank Goodness The Kid Can't Spell

As a woman who had no brothers growing up, I have seriously underestimated both the amount of time that boys spend thinking about sex, and the age at which it begins.

But here's a helpful piece of parenting wisdom for you...

When your 9 year old son's computer logs a Google search for virginia.com, he is not researching vacation destinations.

Use your imagination. I'll wait.

Mmmhmmm.

This is what comes of having thirteen year old brothers. Who has friends who have seventeen year old brothers. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

For this reason, Diminutive One will always be older and wiser than his years as was my younger sister. And, he will take it upon himself to educate his more innocent peers.

Also, as Husband pointed out to me, when Pre-Pubescent One is 21, Diminutive One will be 18. Wonderful.

Pre-Pubescent One is a rule follower. He worries about getting into trouble. He worries about dying. Alone and legal, I'm sure he would be quite responsible. Well...I choose to believe that anyway.

But with his younger brother; the rogue, the mischief maker, the envelope pusher egging him on....

Oy.

I'm just going to stock up on activated charcoal and purchase a stomach pump now.

And I'm going to try not to think about all the dumb stuff I did. Or the fact that Husband nearly killed himself in a souped up Camaro when he was a teenager.

My kids are getting a Yugo. They still make those, right?

You guys think you got problems with potty training? Shoot. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Try talking to your kids about masturbation. Safe sex. ANAL sex. No, I am not kidding. They teach it in health class in SEVENTH GRADE. Not, you know, how to do it, but what it is, and the fact that it might prevent pregnancy, but not STD's.

That'll teach me to sign a permission slip. Because then they come home and ask me stuff.

I've been to the trenches man. It's ugly. Very, very ugly. And the battle is far from over. I still have to get through the actual teen years.

Moms should get hazard pay. Or at least, a lifetime supply of haircolor and Valium.

What was that I was just saying about them not objectifying women?

Lookout all you gals who live in Virginia. Heh.