Pretty Is As Pretty Does

The other day at Starbuck's, I was waited upon by a devastatingly handsome young man. He was the kind of handsome that would have intimidated me when I was a younger woman. I would have considered him "out of my league". But he was very friendly and unassuming despite his looks. I wondered, briefly, if that was simply his nature or if his parents had gone to great lengths to keep him grounded and humble. If so, I'm guessing it wasn't easy. I'm sure people have fawned over his beauty from the moment he was born.

I got my coffee and sat down next to a girl who had a laptop balanced on one knee and a textbook on the other. A few moments later, the young Adonis came over bearing some kind of coffee confection piled high with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate. He handed it to the girl with a flourish and then bestowed her with a tender, lingering kiss.

Though I felt a little icky for watching, I was riveted by the sweetness of that kiss. It's the kind of kiss you only experience with young love. It's the kind of kiss that you just can't have after 20 years of marriage, no matter how deep the love or how strong the bond between you and your spouse. That kiss was full of promise and plans, yet to comes and meant to bes.

When they parted, I said, "Ummmm excuse me..."

They both looked at me and blushed; she abashedly, he a bit defiantly.

"I think that if you offer that service to one patron, you have to offer it to all".

He laughed. "Well...I would have been happy to oblige you not so long ago!"

He said that with the easy humor of someone who is used to flirting. Friendly, playful, but with not a hint of  invitation or encouragement. It's a skill I think beautiful people develop quickly, especially those in public service.

The girl said..."HEY!" and he laughed again. She swatted him on the arm playfully.

Then he explained, "She's my fiancee. I like to take care of my girl when she's improving her mind."

He kissed her again quickly, wished me a good day, and went back to work.

It was then that I took a good look at the girl. Though not unattractive, she was certainly no bombshell. Not exactly plain, but not precisely pretty either. But smart, clearly. Ambitious. And from what I had seen, she had a good sense of humor and an easygoing manner. And she had the good sense not to be jealous or feel threatened by other women flirting with her beautiful boyfriend.

I found myself impressed with the young Adonis for choosing a life partner by some other criteria than looks. Obviously, he could get any woman he wanted. Hell...he could have had me right then and there. (joking hon...) But he chose this not precisely pretty girl and his affection for her was genuine. You can't fake a kiss like that.

I tell my boys all the time that looks aren't everything. That someday looks will fade and that maybe they will find that outer beauty was masking an inner ugliness. I tell them to choose someone who is smart, funny, loyal...because those are the kind of girls that become devoted wives and amazing mothers. Those are the kind of girls a guy can grow old with.

Do they listen? I don't know. I understand the allure of a pretty face and a cute little caboose. We can all appreciate the beauty nature is capable of bestowing upon select members of our species. I just want them to remember that outer beauty is fleeting, but inner beauty, integrity and character are what will get them through the good times, the bad times and all the times in between. And unlike outer beauty, it does not grow old. In fact, it gets stronger and richer and deeper with time.

Crossing my fingers for a homely girl? Not exactly. But I'm not wishing and hoping for a beauty queen either.

Average is just fine with me.

I know..rotsa ruck.

SIGH.