Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

So There

Don't you love it when people leave snarky comments on archived posts? Boy, that takes some balls, dunnit?

Today I got a comment from a gentlemen on my post entitled "Missing" who said that I "asked for it" when I allowed my son to ride the school bus.

He also questioned why I wouldn't have picked my son up on the first day of school, and/or gone to school to make sure he knew what to do.

Well, in that post, I explained, in detail, why I allowed him to take the bus. But aside from that...

Ever hear of sneak-a-peek asswipe?

Sometimes known as "orientation". Occasionally called "meet and greet".

Yeah. Pretty much every school in the contiguous United States has it.

What is sneak-a-peek? Glad you asked.

Sneak a peek is a day prior to the first day of the school, where kids and parents go to the school to find the classroom, meet the teacher, find their desk, tour the school, AND WALK THE ROUTE FROM THE CLASSROOM TO THE BUS PORT OR THE CARLINE.

But thanks for assuming I threw my five year old son to the wolves on his very first day of school.

Pardon me for saying so...but since we're being brutally honest here, I feel I can be candid...I've been accused of buying into the stereotype that religious folks are hyper critical, judgemental and self-righteous, and boy...I can't say you've done much to dissuade me from that position.

Way to go.

Okay, I'm done with him now. Back to you, my faithful readers.

You know, I usually just ignore snarky comments. I've been through some stuff on the net that has caused me to develop a teflon hide. I've also learned that not feeding trolls is generally the best way to deal with them, because of their pathological need for attention.

And I honestly don't give a rat's ass what some anonymous shit for brains has to say about me, my parenting, or my character anyway.

I am also quite aware that by blogging, I am pandering my life for comments. It hardly seems realistic or fair to complain when comments are not all praise and accolades.

I think I have demonstrated that I am open to all manner of discussion, and that I don't subscribe to the "agree with me or piss off" mentality.

But that one? Yeah. That pissed me off.

People...I was nearly incoherent with fear. I pictured my beautiful baby boy broken, bleeding, tortured and raped by some maniac. I pictured him cold and hungry and crying for his Mother. I imagined him hurt and bewildered, wondering WHY I didn't come for him.

It's the kind of fear that once experienced, never leaves a mother.

It's the kind of fear that whispers sinister things in my ear every time I have to let my children out into the world. It's the kind of fear that compels me to mentally catalogue my children every time they leave the house and hold my breathe until they come home. It's the kind of fear that sends me to their room every single night, to watch them sleeping and thank the stars above for the few hours of certainty that I have, knowing they are safe and whole.

We mothers put enough pressure on ourselves without judgemental assholes with no inkiling about what it means to be responsible for the safety, the health, the very livelihood of another human being every single minute of every single day....telling us we "asked for it" when something goes wrong.

And things do go wrong, sometimes. Because we are fallible. Mother Nature does not, unfortunately, render us irreproachable upon giving birth. She does not confer upon us the gift of perfection at conception.

We all get tired. We all get distracted. We all get caught up in the whirlwind of daily life.

We all make mistakes. And we agonize over each and every one.

But nobody asks for that.


(Clarification: This particular person did not, to his credit, post anonymously. When I said "some anonymous shit for brains" I was speaking generally of other anonymous shit for brainses who have left snarky comments on occasion.)


  • At 8:51 PM, Blogger thailandchani said…

    This very thing is the reason I had to turn off "anonymous" comments on my site. The trolls come around and love it best when they get a rise out of us, when we respond to them.

    I can't imagine someone making a remark like that to you if s/he'd been able to be traced.

  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger PunditMom said…

    Jerk. And I'd love to learn how to turn off anonymous comments -- if you can't leave your name (or a fake one), don't comment.

  • At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well said. What the hell is wrong with people? I think trolls must have some serious life issues if they have nothing better to do than be an asshole to a stranger on the internet.


  • At 10:54 PM, Blogger Girlplustwo said…

    i always love the lack of courage involved in being anonymous.

  • At 11:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whew, remind me to never piss you off. Not that your reaction wasn't completely reasonable. Even so, wow.

  • At 12:23 AM, Blogger flutter said…

    Oh a real live TROLL!!! maybe your troll can hook up with my troll, and if they both get laid, they will shut the fuck up and quit being so shitty.

  • At 12:53 AM, Blogger Rositta said…

    I'm not crazy about anonymous commenters either but don't know how to turn them off. I have raised a child (now 42) and I understand stuff happens. You are right, we are not perfect but we do the best we can and hope for the best. To me, it sounds like your a doing a good job...ciao

  • At 4:42 AM, Blogger Kathryn in NZ said…

    "sneak-a-peek" days are not just all over the US, but also here in Godzone Downunder. In fact, my youngest got to have 3, yes THREE, half days (1 per week) prior to her first real full day at school. And then they get buddied for their first week.
    And I wonder if that person has ever tried convincing a five year old to do something other than that which they have had their heart set on for over 6 months - cos that's how long they've been counting down to turning FIVE and going to SCHOOL just like big sibling. In fact, older sibling is moving up to a new school next year, and do you think we can convice younger one that she's not going as well?

  • At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sigh. I never get trolls. I am just not one of the cool kids.

    Oh, and I totally understood why you let him ride the bus. Argue with a five-year-old? Not if I can help it.

  • At 8:34 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    Complete asshat. Somebody should leave him at a bus stop for the rest of his life. maybe they already did.

  • At 9:39 AM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    Mean people suck.

  • At 10:34 AM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    Too much time on the hands and too little imagination to develop more a constructive activity for them.

  • At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was feeling very much like crap about letting "the haters" get to me... but it somehow made me feel better that the attack on your parenting bothered you too.

    When people say I'm a horrible person I just roll my eyes and move on.

    But the attacks against my marriage and my parenting leave me seething for days.

  • At 12:16 PM, Blogger sltbee69 said…

    Well said. People like that obviously have no life and are miserable wastes of breath and space.

  • At 1:17 PM, Blogger Sharon L. Holland said…

    Since when is functioning with a small amount of trust in other people "asking for" something bad to happen to your child?

    You have no reason to defend yourself.

  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    I could feel your fear in your writing, Mama. Any idiot who doubted you as a mother for even a second, doesn't deserve a single ounce of attention from you.

    And you know what I think? That asshole has probably never been a parent and has no clue what it feels like to make these tough decisions.

    Allowing T to ride the bus (which I pretty much *had* to do because of my work schedule) was one of the hardest things I've had to decide... at least in his 6 years of being on this earth. I am not naive enough to think it won't get worse of course, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Shelley Jaffe said…

    Well, he did preface his comment with "With all due respect", so I guess he thinks this charming little phrase clears up everything, and also humbly acknowledges that his world view might just be a smidgen more sophis-ter-cated than yours. Yikes. If only people gave a little thought before they actually put something in writing that

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Bea said…

    Why do you assume that the troll is religious? (If the comment had included a prediction that you're going to hell, or a promise to pray for you to become a better mother, well, then I'd see where you're coming from.)

  • At 2:22 PM, Blogger Blog Antagonist said…

    Bub, fair question. It's in his profile.

  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger Mitzi Green said…

    i WISH the "you asked for it" comments i get were limited to my blog comments. i've essentially been told by the entire circuit court of jackson county that i asked for it...

  • At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow. Get a life.

    So someone had something against you or wanted to criticize you - big deal.

    Hopefully you will teach your children to not post on the internet explaining your entire life story because you have no real life outside of the internet.

    Go get a job or something and if you already have one: spend some time AWAY from the comupter.

  • At 5:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow. People baffle me. When my oldest was in school (we homeschool now, but she did go to public school for a while) we had no choice but to let her ride the bus because we only had one car, and my husband had to have it to go to work. I can't imagine thinking badly of someone's parenting skills because they let their child ride a school bus.

  • At 6:23 PM, Blogger Maddy said…

    I was going to tell you about my new collective noun 'a menace of trolls] but it seems he wasn't anonymous afterall.

    I find it strange how sometimes, comments can cut to the quick and stick like little barbs in the brain.

    Anyway, I'm a bit tired myself so I won't ramble away, just to say that I sympathise with brain ache.

  • At 12:05 AM, Blogger Terri said…

    Oh, my word. I can't believe someone would actually leave a comment accusing you of "asking for it" just because you put your child on the bus.

    The nerve of some people.

  • At 10:39 AM, Blogger AA said…

    HAhaahahah--- cracking up here! After all this talk of anonymous assholes one comments on this post. With a critcism!! And the anon trolls are always so bright--bwahaha! Telling you to get away from the computer when they are posting anonymously to attack someone! Oh the irony! Oh my overuse of !!!!

    Too funny. Or am I the onlyone who sees the humor in that? I'm weird that way.

  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    I'm laughing at the Anonymous commenter here too!

    Oy, people.

  • At 4:35 PM, Blogger nina michelle said…

    *deep breath*

    awwwww, the good ole days.


  • At 4:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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