Real Moms Eat Pussy

Got your attention? Good.

The lovely Mrs.Chicky tagged me for a meme. Normally, I turn up my nose at memes. I’m not much of a joiner and I really am not what you would call a team player. I can do it, and quite well, but my natural inclination is always to strike out on my own, forge my own path, create my own destiny.

But the topic of this meme struck me as really important. Because we all have this idea of what we as Mothers should do, and be, and aspire to. If we don’t live up to that standard we consider ourselves failures. But many of the mothering ideals that we try to conform to are unrealistic and even destructive because they propose a one size fits all approach to parenting. I won’t go into all the reasons why this is an exercise in madness and futility….that’s another post for another day.

What I really wanted to do is address the issue of what Real Moms are in a way that means something. I began to consider all the traps that we Moms fall into, believing that we are unworthy or unfit or undeserving of the title.

My dear friend Nina came to mind.

Nina is a wonderful Mother. She is the light of so many lives; the calm in the storm of adolescence for her older children, a ray of sunshine and mirth maker for her younger. She always puts her children first. She is their champion and their friend.

Recently, Nina has come out as a gay woman after many, many years of trying to live up to society’s view of what is acceptable, moral, and appropriately representative of the American ideal.

I can scarcely fathom the courage that must have taken, or the terror she must have felt at leaving everything that was comfortable and safe behind.

Who Nina is has not changed. Not really. Not as a person, not as a mother.

Nina has shown her children that it is not only okay be true to who you are, it is vitally important. She has embraced that which has marked her as different and by doing so, Nina has exemplified strength, courage and honesty for them.

But there are certain factions who would now denounce her adequacy, competency and value as a parent. There are certain factions who would take away her right to be a mother, and deny it others like her. There are certain factions who believe that simply by virtue of her sexual orientation, she is undeserving and unfit.

This, of course, is pure inimical bullshit.

I know plenty of heterosexual men and women who harbor a perversion of the soul. I know Christian folks who are morally corrupt and patently evil. I know people who are accepted by every societal standard as normal who are anything but.

It’s sheer lunacy to assign parenting worth or ability based on sexual orientation.

My personal tastes run more to the mainstream, but I’m certainly not going to hold myself in higher esteem as a parent because I prefer tubesteak to taco.

So the next time you see a same sex couple pushing a stroller or a swing...don’t look away. Make eye contact. Smile. And ask them about their baby or their child. Acknowledge them as peers and compatriots. Because society has tried to negate their validity on every level, when in some ways, they have more to offer than we do. Who better to teach a child about tolerance, acceptance, and unconditional love than someone who has been denied it?

Real Moms eat pussy. Thank goodness.

I tag Nina.