I Think I Might Be a Lesbian Now

How much do you love HER???

In other Friday randomness....

Why is it that when you are NOT looking for something specific (i.e. an outfit for a funeral, a camisole to go under that sheer top, etc.) you find all kind of wonderful stuff that fits well, is available in your size and color and is on sale? But when you really need something, it's as if the heavens have opened up and swallowed every single item of that kind in the known world?

Why are people willing to spend twice the retail value plus shipping for items on ebay? I don't mean collector's items or rare items. I'm talking about kids's clothing. In trying to buy brand name jeans for my oldest son, I was repeatedly outbid. I wasn't lowballing either. I made what I considered to be a fair and reasonable bid for USED clothing. But my maximum price was exceeded by another bidder every single time. After factoring in shipping, I could get them for that price at the store, maybe less if I catch a sale. Weird.

Also, why are people buying five pairs of $50 jeans for 12 and 13 year old boys? Do you have any idea how quickly adolescent boys grow?? Last year, PPO got two paris of brand name jeans for Christmas. The rest had to come from Old Navy and Target, or Plato's Closet (consignment store). I am simply not going to spend that kind of money on a kid, first of all, and secondly, on a kid who grows an inch a month. It's just NUTS. And yet, auction after auction proclaimed..."I bought these 12 pair of brand name jeans for my son and he outgrew them in a month!" I know...some fudging is expected in auction descriptions, but still....ever hear of a washing machine? Amazingly handy little household appliance.

Why are people surprised that Facebook cannot come up with a uniform standard of usage for their users that is fair and balanced (apologies to Fox News)? Mark Zuckerberg was TWENTY TWO when he founded Facebook in 2004 and is now acting CEO. Think back to what 22 year old guys were like. Yeah. Not the epitome of maturity and wisdom. Hell...most of them still blush if they have to go down the tampon aisle in the grocery store. No wonder he's disconcerted by a little nip. And no wonder that he defends the posting of pornographic images. The internet is the modern day equivalent of Playboy and Facebook is Mark Zuckerberg's own personal porn emporium. Certainly, he does not want to despoil the sanctity of his digital playground by allowing images of breasts serving in a functional capacity. It spoils the magic people.

I think teachers should have to be parents before they get their teaching degree. "Procreating before certification" Say it with me. I should start a campaign or something. If teachers were parents, they wouldn't give fourth graders a fuckton of homework and three projects all at once. "Map in a Month"? How about "Map When I get around to it?"

I also think good teachers should be paid way more than people like Michael Vick and Brittany Spears. It's a gross miscarriage of justice and a demonstration of our completely screwed up priorities that those individuals rake in millions while our nation's school teachers can barely eke out a living.

My first crush turned 49 yesterday and that makes me feel very old. Happy Birthday Shaun Cassidy. Loved your clothing line. Somewhere in a box there still exists a baby blue satin baseball jacket with your wholesome image silk screened upon it and a photo album full of clippings from Tiger Beat magazine. My childhood crushes in chronological order are as follows:

Shaun Cassidy
Lee Majors
Rick Springfield
David Hasselhoff
Michael Jackson (when he still still looked human)

In highschool I was not quite so devoted. I think my crushes changed weekly.

I have created a monster. I took Pre-Pubescent One to his first concert (Fallout Boy) in June, and now he is hooked. They are coming again sometime in the next couple of months and he is begging to go. He loved absolutely everything about the concert going experience. But yannow...when I was a kid you could go to a concert for ten or twelve bucks. The real big names might have cost a bit more. I remember begging my mother for $40 to go see Michael Jackson, but that included bus fare to and from the venue, which was four hours away in Chicago. These days, you have to take out a small loan to see anything, much less a big name concert headliner. I didn't get to go, incidentally. My mother thought it was outrageous to pay $40 to see a concert. Now, I'll never be able to say I saw Michael Jackson when he still had his own nose. Or, his own anything, really.

Husband is whisking me away this weekend for our anniversary. I have no idea where we are going, nor who will be caring for my children, only that someone will. I am strangely disconcerted by the fact that I am not at all disconcerted. That should tell you how seldom Husband and I get any time alone. He had to do an enormous amount of juggling to make this happen. It really sucks not having any extended family nearby to rely on in situations like these.

See you cats in the sandbox!!