Liar Liar Pants On Fire

It must be my recent angst over this whole blogging thing, because I consider myself a pretty honest person.

But yesterday, I lied. And it was a whopper.

Pubescent One had a ballgame last evening, and the parents, as usual, made idle chit chat while waiting for the game to start. There are quite a few parents that I don't know, because he is playing on a 14 year old team and I haven't had an opportunity to socialize with them over the course of many years, as I have with most of the 13 year old parents.

So, we are getting to know one another slowly. I will be spending a LOT of time with these folks throughout the summer, so I have been tryong to forge as positive a relationship with them as possible.

One gal, who recenlty left her job, was being flip and funny and asking each person in succession, "Where do you work and are they hiring?"

When she came to me, I said "Sorry, I'm self-employed and my salary doesn't really allow for any staff to speak of."

She politely asked what it is that I do.

And that's when I decided I just wasn't going to give the same old answer I have been giving for 13 years. I decided I just couldn't take seeing one more person's eyes go blank with disinterest. I decided I didn't want to be dismissed again, ever.

So I lied.

"I'm a writer."

"Oh really?" she said interestedly, "What do you write?"

I hadn't really thought that far ahead, but, in for a penny in for a pound, as the saying goes. I was obliged to continue.

"Well, I write parenting and education stuff, some related to learning disabilities, specifically ADD and ADHD. I write slice of life commentary, some social commentary, and occasionally I write about pop culture. I try to stay away from political stuff, but every now and then, I do write a political piece."

"Really? How interesting. What publications do you write for?"

Shit. Think fast, B.A. Think fast. Good lies are those that have a healthy dose of truth to them. Keep it simple, don't embellish too much.

"Well, I mostly publish in the online marketplace. I've built a pretty solid reputation there, and I get a fair amount of positive feedback on my work. But I would like to transition to print media sometime in the near future."

"Wow. That's so cool."

"Thanks. I enjoy it."

I should have felt bad because I lied. But the truth is, I didn't feel bad at all. I felt gratified. I spend an awful lot of time feeling like nothing I do matters and I realize that's just part and parcel of being a full time stay at home Mom and housewife.

I try not to let it bother me. But sometimes it really, really does.

Sometimes, I need to matter. Sometimes, I need to feel important.

Maybe God will strike me down for lying. But maybe...he can understand what its like to be overlooked and underappreciated.

Ummm, Sorry?...God.