The Pussy Problem

A while back, I wrote a post called "Real Moms Eat Pussy", as part of a blog thing that was going around about real Moms; what they are, who they are.

I think we all tend to spotlight the more positive aspects of our lives on our blogs; some bloggers more than others.

I do strive for honesty here at Blogs Are Stupid. But I think it's human nature to want to celebrate the good, the uplifting and the positive. Many of us do that by writing. So as a matter of course, our blogs become a reflection of our best selves. I don't think that's deliberate or disingenuous, it's just...the way we work.

The meme was designed to be an exercise in truth and I think it was a good one.

My post, if you haven't read it, was about gay and lesbian parenting. It was about how how gay and lesbian parents are every bit as legitimate as nurturers and caregivers as heterosexuals and every bit as deserving of the titular parental designations we heterosexuals horde so stingily.

Anyway...

The title of that post was intended to grab the attention of my readers, to shock, to titillate, to intrigue.

I didn't stop to think about the unfortunate consequences of that decision when it came to search terms.

Let's just say that it is by far my most viewed page.

However, I don't think that has as much to do with my skill as an author, as it does the lamentable sexual deviance with which a disconcerting number of people in this world seem to be afflicted.

Freud would be so gratified to know that his theories were so staggeringly accurate and profoundly pervasive. Who knew such a large segment of the human collective harbor secretly salacious thoughts about their mothers?

Well I do now, thanks to Monsieur Google.

You people in the Netherlands need help. Lots and lots of psychotherapy should be at the top of your to do list.

I've grown sort of innured to those initially shocking search parameters that show up on my statcounter nearly every day.

YAWN. Another pervy mother pussy search. How predictable.

I suspect those poor horny schlubs are grievously disappointed to land in my decidedly unsexy and disappointingly vanilla little corner of cyberspace.

Anyway, yesterday, I got one that completely stumped me.

"How to make home woman pussy."

Ummmmm. What??

After some discussion, it was decided that this...person...was trying to find information on how to create a vaginal facsimile device from things commonly found in one's home.

This led to a rather risque discussion about all the household items from which one could conceivably manufacture such a thing; among them, cantaloupes. Rather more messy than the real deal, I'd venture to guess, but I suppose, if one is really in need...

You know, Michael's carries a dazzling array of crafting supplies, which can make crafting appealing and doable for even the most uncrafty of individuals. But I can't honestly say I've seen anything there that might serve such a purpose.

So, Dude...I did some research for you. What you need is this.

It has got to be better than a cantaloupe.