I'm Home
Do I want to tell you about it? Yes and no. I'm depressed as hell and I don't feel like doing anything, even blogging.
This happens every time I visit my family. But this time, it started before I even left. I couldn't even enjoy the visit, knowing I would have to come return.
Also, I have been reevaluating my life goals and trying to convince myself that it's okay to persue my dream of writing a novel. The time that it would take away from my family to do so makes it feel like a selfish endeavor, and yet, I think...I have given up everything for them, including my identity. Why should I feel so guilty about taking some of me back?
Well anyway...I'm back. Thanks for not pissing on the rug.
12 Comments:
At 2:55 PM, Anonymous said…
When you take time for yourself you end up with more of yourself to give to others.
I should know.
At 3:35 PM, crazymumma said…
There is certainly something in the air these days regarding this subject. The selflessness of parenting and marital bliss, and the subsequent chafe. I dunno, but I am driving myself crazy with it.
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous said…
Yay! You're back! (I peed on your neighbor's lawn instead...)
I'll be first in line at the bookstore to have you sign me a copy. Ditch the guilt and get at it - I'm sure you'll be able to carve out some time for your self once school starts.
Just remember - if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always received. (yeah, big words - but true!!)
At 7:17 PM, Middle Girl said…
Sit on it for awhile, but then...get it on missy. :)
At 7:36 PM, All Things BD said…
Oh I feel you. I spent a month in California with family and friends. It was depressing half the time, knowing I was leaving.
You should write. It's who you are.
At 7:58 PM, KT said…
I've missed you. Glad you are back.
As for the novel...DEFINITELY it's ok to take some time back for you. It is not selfish, and quite frankly, I think that doing what we need to do and what we like to do makes us better mothers, spouses, friends, daughters, sisters...etc. Write, woman! It's what you were born to do.
At 8:36 PM, Anonymous said…
If you gave up your identity, that was your own fault. Don't whine about it. Either take it back or give it up. But the whining. It is too much.
At 8:56 PM, Amy Y said…
I know the feeling, Mama. Visiting with far away relatives is so bittersweet (mine are all 1,000 miles away in Indiana).
I think writing is an excellent idea ~ I'd love to see your talent put to good use!! You deserve that bit of yourself and I have a feeling that your family won't have to sacrifice or change their lifestyle *too* much. Besides, school starts soon and you'll have all that time during the day to fill with words...
At 9:45 PM, Girlplustwo said…
ah sister...i remember this from last year too...i am sorry you are hurting, but how lucky you are to have what you do.
At 11:23 AM, Anonymous said…
So glad you are back- I have missed your stories.
At 11:49 AM, mamatulip said…
Welcome home. :)
At 3:45 PM, sltbee69 said…
Glad to have you back! I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right thing for YOU.
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