Speechless
Well, almost. It would be a true marvel indeed if I were actually rendered incapable of speech, or, as the case may be, type.
People...THIS is why I talk to my kids about sex. THIS is why I didn't run screaming in horror when my then 12 year old son asked me if you could get pregnant from anal sex. THIS is why, when the time comes, I will provide him with as many condoms as he needs, though inside I may be riven with sadness the thought of my baby having sex.
THIS is why I have to do better than my parents did. They were wonderful, my parents. But when it came to sex, their way of dealing with it was to not deal with it.
I think the only reason I didn't get knocked up is because I waited until I was quite old by today's standards to surrender my womanly gift (said with tongue firmly planted in cheek) and as a result, had enough common sense to get myself down to Planned Parenthood and get on the pill.
I was nearly 18 and a senior in high school. It was a rather business like endeavor. I had decided that it was time to get it over and done with. So I selected a likely candidate, and pretended to be seduced.
It was a disappointing and somewhat empty experience, naturally.
So I've talked to my boys about that. That it can be a wonderful thing, but also a sad and confusing and embarassing thing.
As a young adult I had encounters that filled me with shame and regret. I coped by resolving firmly to put it behind me and not repeat the mistake.
But LOOK at this child. Dear God, he's just a baby.
How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with all the emotions that are tied up with sexuality?
How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with the responsibility that has just been placed, clad in pink and smelling sweetly of milk and powder, in his chubby arms?
It's unthinkable, really.
And yet, There it is
What in the world will become of them? I shudder to think.
People...THIS is why I talk to my kids about sex. THIS is why I didn't run screaming in horror when my then 12 year old son asked me if you could get pregnant from anal sex. THIS is why, when the time comes, I will provide him with as many condoms as he needs, though inside I may be riven with sadness the thought of my baby having sex.
THIS is why I have to do better than my parents did. They were wonderful, my parents. But when it came to sex, their way of dealing with it was to not deal with it.
I think the only reason I didn't get knocked up is because I waited until I was quite old by today's standards to surrender my womanly gift (said with tongue firmly planted in cheek) and as a result, had enough common sense to get myself down to Planned Parenthood and get on the pill.
I was nearly 18 and a senior in high school. It was a rather business like endeavor. I had decided that it was time to get it over and done with. So I selected a likely candidate, and pretended to be seduced.
It was a disappointing and somewhat empty experience, naturally.
So I've talked to my boys about that. That it can be a wonderful thing, but also a sad and confusing and embarassing thing.
As a young adult I had encounters that filled me with shame and regret. I coped by resolving firmly to put it behind me and not repeat the mistake.
But LOOK at this child. Dear God, he's just a baby.
How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with all the emotions that are tied up with sexuality?
How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with the responsibility that has just been placed, clad in pink and smelling sweetly of milk and powder, in his chubby arms?
It's unthinkable, really.
And yet, There it is
What in the world will become of them? I shudder to think.
posted by Blog Antagonist @ 1:12 PM
16 Comments:
At 2:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
yeesh, he looks all of 6.
to be honest, i can't judge a whole lot because i up and did exactly what you did, got myself on birth control, picked a guy and was 'seduced' and then was disappointed(which was surprising given the amount of porn i knew this guy watched, i mean, come on, if you are going to have gigs of that stuff saved on your computer at least LEARN from it)by the lameness of it all at 14.
but at 14 i was also educated enough by my family to know i didn't want babies or diseases.
right now i am 23 and just a day from 7 months pregnant with a boy and i am terrified that i won't be able to pass on the same wisdom in a way that my kid will handle sex in an intelligent, if not skilled, way as well. this sort of article makes me want to sew my legs shut and just let him incubate until he's 30.
At 3:27 PM,
S said…
it is the most awful thing.
i was floored when i saw it.
At 7:09 PM,
SUEB0B said…
When I was 13, the kind of decisions I thought were important were whether to be a Coke or Pepsi person. In other words, I was a fairly clueless little dunce, even though I had a lot of intelligence. Sad.
At 8:49 PM,
Green-Eyed Momster said…
I'm speechless too. They are so, very young.
Yikes!
Hugs!!
At 11:20 PM,
Pgoodness said…
that story makes me want to vomit...he's just a BABY!! There is no possible way this can end well...no possible way. :(
At 2:23 AM,
flutter said…
there is more wrong here than parents not talking about sex. This is a clear case of parents not being parents.
now a second generation will carry on the tradition. Sad.
At 10:41 AM,
Girlplustwo said…
once a family came in for help, it was a multigenerational family, the grandma, mom and baby. the mom was 11.
the mom was 11.
i haven't thought of it in awhile, but your post reminded me and my stomach hurts even now, just from the memory.
At 1:38 PM,
Anonymous said…
I am freaked out.
At 5:35 PM,
Notes and letters to myself.... said…
I am so happy, glad,and relieved to hear you are talking to your child about sex.
We didn't talk about sex in our house at all.
So on the advice from friends I was told that the first time I had sex you could not get pregnant and it was a freebie.
I had sex -- and guess what, after the first time I was pregnant. I had an abortion because I didn't feel I could get any support emotional or otherwise, and felt I had no other options.
I am sure that incident is why I went into Women's Health Care as a career to dispell those myths about sex, sexuality etc...
Thank God there are mom's like you out on the planet who love and respect their kids enough to have those uncomfortable conversations about sex.
At 8:33 AM,
Avalon said…
Did you hear the latest? Another boy is claiming he is the actual father. I wonder if he is 10?
At 4:24 PM,
Woman in a Window said…
It's a sad thing in retrospect, isn't it? Let's arm them and send them safely on their way. Hell, maybe it will even be fun. (ew and oooooof!)
At 4:29 PM,
Woman in a Window said…
HOly crap! I wrote my comment based on mother/child conversations only! Holy crap! Then I clicked on the video! Holy crap! That wouldn't have been my comment. My sadness is based solely on my children maturing and one day, inevitably, making choices.
Holy crap!
Holy crap!
At 7:55 PM,
Chicky Chicky Baby said…
Please tell me it's all an elaborate hoax. Please??
At 9:31 AM,
mamatulip said…
What kills me is that now two other boys have stepped up, claiming to be the baby's father. Boys who are all of 15.
*head exploding*
At 4:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
I talk to my daughter about sex, too. I even let her friends who can't talk to their parents (for whatever reason) ask me questions. I hope that doesn't make anyone think I'm stepping on the other parents' toes, but I refuse to allow any child in this day and age not have such questions answered.
My daughter is 14 and I've been trying very hard to tell her that it would be a hell of a lot smarter for her to finish high school, college, get a job, live on her own for a few years, then when she's finally found out who she is, she can find someone to love.
I figure she'll want to have sex at some point. I plan to ask my dr at Planned Parenthood when I should start bringing her in for paps when I go to my appt in March. And I'd definitely be getting her on the pill and get her condoms (always double up, ppl) before she has sex.
My parents never talked to me about sex either. I ended up pregnant and unsupported by the spermdonor at 16. Why? Because I thought sex is what you did to get a guy to like you.
At 12:28 AM,
Green-Eyed Momster said…
I hope you don't mind, I mentioned this post in my last post. I'm still not over it. This really bothered me.
Hugs!!
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