Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Blog Closed Temporarily

Due to extreme stupidity.

Pre-Pubescent One is playing Allstar Baseball this summer. And I, in a moment of weakness or insanity or both, agreed to be Team Mom.

I know that those of you with small children who are too young for organized sports can't really know what kind of commitment Allstars is, nor can you fully appreciate the scope of my stupidity. But the fact is, I am in way over my head. I consider myself a fairly competent, organized, and resourceful person. But I cannot conjure money out of thin air, because let's face it, if I could, I wouldn't be here blogging, I'd be on a yacht in the Mediterranean ogling my all male staff, who of course, are all ebony-eyed swarthy-skinned Italian Stallions, and who are naturally attired in nothing but speedos and epaulets.

So, strike one against me, cuz we've got no money in our team fund and the parents don't seem to understand that we need sponsorships to buy all the nifty embroidered spirit wear, towels, bat bags, and visors that they are fully expecting to recieve, nor do they seem to understand that every family is responsible for a portion of the fundraising. I covered all this in our team meeting, but somehow, "We need to raise $12,000 to cover just the BASIC expenses" didn't sink in. One would think that the figure (($12,000)) would command attention of it's own accord, but apparently not. And one would think that a detailed financial balance sheet showing a big fat negative balance might cause some concern, but again, it seems I am mistaken.

Strike two is the fact that I am expected to coordinate a huge tournament, from vendors and concessions right down to hiring umpires. Sure, I can do that. Absolutely no problem. Except....this tournament has to take place three weeks from today. I need a photographer, a t-shirt vendor and t-shirts, trophies, and concession stock like, tomorrow. And I guess I can pay for it all with peanuts, cause I got plenty of those thanks to the generosity of Roadhouse Grille, who donated three 25 lb. bags in lieu of a sponsorship.

Strike three is the fact that our coach, who is really and truly a fantastic THE most unorganized person on the face of the planet. I think he has ADD, which makes my husband laugh because he thinks that since our son has been diagnosed, I think everyone has ADD. But he does. Totally. And it's driving me insane. To register the team for our District Championship tournament, I have to have a birth certificate, proof of insurance, consent to treat and a recent photo of each child. This has to be on file with the Tournament Director or we don't play. Period. I have information for every player except...yep. The coach's son. That's just one of the many examples that illustrate why I will be a bona fide alchoholic before this season is over.

So, ummm, anyway, my beloved blog is suffering. I refuse to post endless whining diatribes (starting right after this one of course) so this post may be the last until the season ends. I wanted this blog to be unique, and different, and perhaps I am fooling myself that I succeeded just a little bit, but if I can't post anything but self indulgent crap, then I won't post at all. I mean, I suppose that blogging in and of itself is self-indulgent, but I like to think I write as much for my audience as for myself. And who the hell wants to read about my stupid Allstar Team Mom saga day after day? Hell, I'm boring myself with this one post.

So...I will post as I am able, if I am able. But I wanted to let you all know that if there are long stretches between posts, it's because my brain is fried from spending long baseball filled days in the damned Georgia heat and humidity and I can't form a coherent sentence, paint a verbal picture, or create a decent metaphor to save my life.

The silver lining in this roiling black cloud of misplaced altruism is that the World Series this year (not THE Little League World Series...we're not that good) is in Charleston, S.C. I adore Charleston. And I WILL get dinner in my favorite little French Bistro (Mistral Mistral Mistral, 99 Market Street, live Jazz music, delicious French Cuisines, a wine list to die for) if I have to maim the entire team to do it.

So, Wake me uuuuuupppp, when September July ends......


  • At 6:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My son played All Star baseball for three years. UGH and WOW in the same breath. He did not make the team this year (he's 14 and the competition got much tougher). I was secretly overjoyed. Really. I didn't know how I would manage him just being on the team, with me being the only parent, and also having an 11 year old daughter to take care of. You know - feed and pamper etc. I feel your pain, B.A. I hope it all works out!!! GO TEAM!!!

  • At 7:12 AM, Blogger Antique Mommy said…

    I'll wait for you BA! (waving hankie)

    And yes, what were you thinking???

    12K? It now occurs to me that I can't afford a kid.

  • At 8:21 AM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    Wow, how little league has changed over the past couple of decades.

    If you feel the need to vent your frustrations, you know we'll be here. All Star drama day after day may be a bit much (how the heck did you get roped into that?) but every once in a while won't scare away your loyal readers.

    Good luck on your fundraising!

  • At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Holy crap. Unfortunately, I have a pretty good idea as to why the other parents weren't fazed by the balance sheet. They all think that someone else will take care of it.

    In high school, I had to sell $5 raffle tickets (and that was 15+ years ago...) to support my activity of choice. We were all required to sell $350 worth. I'm not entirely sure what happened if we didn't do it, because I always did it and never asked my parents to buy any tickets, but perhaps it's time to take the "pitch in or ELSE" route...

    Regardless, I will keep checking back. Hang in there.

  • At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    $12K for ONE baseball team for a summer league? Are the jersey's lined and lettered in gold? I think that's a bit over the top and your penchant for drama is showing. Hell, we got our team uniforms for $900 for the TEAM.

  • At 4:21 PM, Blogger Blog Antagonist said…

    Oh I know, it sounds like a ridiculous amount of money. I thought the same thing the first year we played, but after doing it last summer I understand exactly why it costs so much.

    Actually, $12,000 is a very conservative figure. The 12 year old team spent $4,000 just on uniforms. I can't imagine why, but I can only imagine that they are indeed lined and lettered in gold.

    Quite a few of the players on our team are underprivileged. Our Coach believes that all kids who have the ability should be able to play, not just affluent kids. We try to raise enough to cover their expenses (equipment, apparel, required patches, food and drink)as well as their hotel and travel costs to the World Series. We only get a small stipend from the park so the rest is up to us.

    Perhaps it is done differently where you live, but around here, entrance fees to each tournament cost between $300 and $500. Times 8 tournaments, it adds up. The World Series costs $600 to enter.

    Some of the items that I mentioned are simply niceties, not necessities, and if necessary we will forego them. But the kids work very hard and basically give up their whole summer to play ball, and it's nice for them to have some momentos of their achievement.

    It's really not insurmountable if everyone just pulls together.

  • At 7:14 PM, Blogger Ruth Dynamite said…

    $12,000 for a season of little league? That's outrageous. I'm shocked. I'm scared. Good luck.

  • At 8:40 PM, Blogger Blog Antagonist said…

    No, no, don't be afraid. Regular Little League costs a fraction of that. We pay $125 to play rec league at our local park. Some places are less, some I'm sure are more.

  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger Her Bad Mother said…


    You MUST keep venting. You must.

    I'll be checking back.

  • At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My sister in law has 3 boys and each one is in a different sport - she needs to clone herself to be everywhere - good luck - we'll be here when the summer ends :-)

    P.S. Best Blog Post Title I've seen all week!

  • At 10:49 AM, Blogger Sandra said…

    I don't think it is stupidity as much as BRAVERY! Wow this is insanity really.

    But you musn't go for long. I am afraid I am addicted to your words ... not in a stalker way .. in an I-really-respect-your-writing-way.

    We'll miss ya.

  • At 2:40 PM, Blogger Blog Antagonist said…

    Aw thanks everyone. The feeling is way mutual, I assure you. I really miss my daily blog reading.


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