Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ernest Hemingway, Eat Your Heart Out

Due to this little snafu, we have been discussing diversity quite a bit around here. Diminutive One seems particularly interested in and concerned about all the different ways in which people are discriminated against. And, as always, when he is trying to wrap his mind around something, he writes to reconcile all the thoughts and feelings that consume him (In some ways, the proverbial apple has fallen gratifyingly close to the proverbial tree). And so, he has come up with a series of short stories about the day to day struggles that minorities face. They contain some fairly sophisticated prose, if I may laud the literary prowess of my progeny just a bit.

First he wrote "Everybody is Different" which preaches the importance of accepting people for who they are, and not what they look like. You should like people even if they are really fat or really ugly. Because on the inside everyone is pretty. You should like people no matter what their skin color is, because on the inside, everyone is white. Okay, perhaps we need to explore that concept a bit more, but I think what he meant was that everyone is the same on the inside.

Then he penned "The Big Game" which tells the story of a kid with two left feet. With insight far beyond his years, my son has captured all the heartbreak of congenital klutziness with a startling poignance. If you have't already guessed, the protagonist in this tale ends up saving the day by scoring the winning home run, thereby teaching a valuable lesson to the other players, which is...never underestimate the value of being able to execute a really good face plant.

In "Dan's Kindergarten Days" a shy, diminutive kindergartener (hmmmm, an autobiography, perhaps?) learns the hard lesson that bullies are a fact of life. During a school assembly, Dan learns that bullies are really just sad and scared on the inside. He attempts to make friends with the bully by demonstrating compassion and empathy. In so doing, he learns a lesson within a lesson, which is, sometimes, the only thing bullies understand is a good ass kicking, after which, they are much more receptive to compassion and empathy.

But the jewel in his crown, the piece de resistance, the pinnacle of his literary genius, has got to be....

"Sometimes It's Hard to Be Rich"

It is an insightful and lyrical tale that chronicles the struggle of the poor, misunderstood well to do. My budding author has managed to capture and convey all the heartbreak, isolation, and frustration of being rich beyond all measure. Nobody really understands the responsibility that comes with great wealth. There is counting the money, laundering the money, hiding the money from the never ends. And when one is richer than King Solomon, one never knows if people like them for who they are, or if they are just along for the ride on your private jet.

So, the next time you encounter a rich person, spare a moment to smile, ask them about their solid gold toilet day, and let them know that you care about their troubles. Demonstrate that you don't hold the fact that they've never had to dig change out of the back of the couch for Happy Meals on the day before payday against them. Remember, Moguls are people too.

That kid of mine.....he cracks me up. He was so very, very serious when he read these stories to me. Now he's hidden them away and I don't know where. I want to swipe them for his memory box, but first I need to laminate them. They're going to worth a fortune when he's a famous author.


  • At 4:27 PM, Blogger Mom101 said…

    THis is one of the funniest things I've read! He could be published - I mean, didn't madonna write a book that was, in essence, "It's Hard to Be Pretty"?

  • At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Those are amazing. I wish my spirited child would read them and maybe gain a sense of humility and acceptance that she desparately needs!

    Hope you have fully recovered from your illness and surgery? I would love to have the lasik done, I am not nearly as bad as you but they have told me because I have an irregular stigmatism that I would not be eligible - of course, that was several years ago so a lot may have changes.

  • At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think this is great! Not only are they good stories they are life lessons...and all from a child. Why am I not surprised? My daughter (11) just wrote a story as well, and I was so impressed with her and it. It was five typed pages -- geez -- I don't know the last time I"VE done that!

  • At 8:24 PM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    Too funny! I'll make sure I send a nice "How are you doing? Are you feeling okay?" letter to Donald Trump, per the wishes of your son.

  • At 9:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I would like to be the English teacher that gets him as a student. He will be the student that makes his/her entire career worth it.

  • At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That. Is. So. Cute.

  • At 12:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    At his young age, he's already got that whole story hook down. I want to read them all. They sound very interesting.

    If he's a famous writer someday, you should pursuade him to start out under the pen name Diminuitive One. That in itself is eye-catching.

  • At 3:49 PM, Blogger Sandra said…

    That is fabulous. Every word. Love this kid!!

  • At 9:20 PM, Blogger Rachelle said…

    Love it, love it, love it! How wonderful to have a writer on your hands. My favorite line: "You should like people no matter what their skin color is, because on the inside, everyone is white." That is hilarious! It shows a deep, if slightly flawed, understanding of what you are teaching him. Kudos.

    P.S. Just catching up on your blog... been away for awhile.

  • At 9:44 PM, Blogger crazymumma said…

    His insight and sinceruty are beautiful. good on you!

    and congratulations on the eye surgery, i wish I could do it!

  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Penrick said…

    Cherish every moment and get those things published.


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