Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

EW. And Other Stuff

Yannow, when I titled the post about same sex couples parenting, I was going for something that would grab the attention of the reader. Maybe even shock them. I thought it was an important topic and I wanted people to read what I had to say.

But then one of my commenters had to go and bust the sparkling irridescent bubble of my Google innocence by remaking that the title of my post was sure to result in some interesting search terms on my statcounter.

Of course, she was right, and I've had many folks, both foreign and domestic, but oddly mostly from far flung foreign locales, (is everyone from Malaysia a pervert and where the hell is Ljubljana?) land on my blog searching for content about Mom's kitty kat.

That's gross, but it doesn't necessarily surprise me. I've been around the net. I know what's out there.

But clearly Freud's detractors, who declared his theory about the Oedipus complex to be poppycock, would be dismayed by the savagery and depravity of the human jungle that is the world wide web.

I doubt their Victorian sensibilities could have withstood the shock.

Savvy and jaded as I am, however, the search term "child p*ssy love" gave me a bit of a lurch in the stomachal region.

So even though my boy's do not posess the proper anatomy to gratify this particular brand of pervert, there are plenty of predators that do prefer little boys.

That is why I don't put pictures of my children on my blog. And that is why I will, in the future, be more judicious about my use of gratutious sexual slang in my post titles.


In other news, my oldest child and my spouse are in man heaven. They are playing Guitar Hero on our new 50 inch television. They are practically ejaculating.

Currently, they are fumbling through rocking "Barracuda". I simply cannot take it. I have a low tolerance for noise anyway, and whining guitars are like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

You know that bit at the end of Freebird? I know, I know, it's one of the greatest pieces of musical artistry ever perpetrated by a guitarist. But it makes me suicidal. And right now, the continual discordance of wrong notes is making me want to jam a fork in my ears until they bleed.

Seriously, as we speak, I am rummaging in my side table drawer for an implement to hasten my descent in to blissfull silence. Yathink an emory board would suffice?

Karen Carpenter crooning "We've Only Just Begun" is much more my speed. I really do dig The Carepenters.

For those who asked, I think June is going to go above my bed. This will necessitate some painting, for our room is currently a sickly shade of 1957 mint green, and June simply cannot reside upon a wall that is not painted some suitably warm and citrusy hue.

I know you are waiting to hear the results of my Strike experiment. I will sit down and write about it for you when my brain is not addled by sleep deprivation. Diminutive One is ill and I've been up all night watching his toss and turn in a feverish frenzy.

Even when they're big, it's distressing to see them flushed and lethargic. And even when they're big, the doctor debate still occurs. Do I take him? Do I not take him? He feels rotten and I hate to subject him to a long wait in the emergency room or an immediate care clinic unnecessarily. On the other hand...well, I don't like the other hand, but we Moms always have to consider it don't we?

To whomever it was who recommended Pat Conroy as a Southern Writer worth reading...thank you. I'm currently reading "Prince Of Tides" and his writing is absolutely delicious.

To those of you who recommended I give "Fountainhead" a try...well, I did try. I couldn't read it. Perhaps I'm not intellectual enough, but I was bored to tears. That happened with Madame Bovary and Wuthering Heights as well. I found Heathcliff not to be tragically and romantically truculent, but rather, a churlish boor.

Still, I'm going to try "Atlas Shrugged" and see if I can muddle through it. I have some pathological need to say that I read Ayn Rand and loved it.

Happy Weekend to you all.


  • At 1:12 PM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    Ahhh, Guitar Hero. So many songs I never liked the first time around; so many times I need to listen to them being butchered.

  • At 1:14 PM, Blogger thailandchani said…

    Well, as far as Ayn Rand, if you can get through John Galt's 57-page speech in the book, you're a better person than me. :)

    As for the weird searches, I get those all the time because of the mention of "THailand" in my posts which apparently represents a sexual playground to so many people.

    Some of them do mention children - and it always makes me sick.

    World Wide Wasteland indeed!

  • At 2:24 PM, Blogger Jeana said…

    Finding ironic humor in the fact that your thoughts on avoiding web perverts were followed by a paragraph that contained the words "man heaven" and "ejaculating". You might be off to a rough start. ;-)

  • At 3:45 PM, Blogger All Things BD said…

    I lack the internet skillz to figure out how you see people's searches that brought them to your site. I think after reading this post and others, I will remain blissfully unaware.

    The next step up from Guitar Hero is Rock Band. Discordant guitar + bad drum beats + terrible, terrible singing = migraine city over here.

  • At 5:07 PM, Blogger Amie Adams said…

    If it weren't for all the perverts, I'd have no webstats at all. ;)

    Love, love, love Pat Conroy. Read everything he's written. You won't be disappointed. I think The Great Santini was my favorite.

  • At 5:15 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said…

    Every single day I get searches that make me feel a little green 'round the gills. So many perverts! I am not talking about run-of-the-mill perverts either - I am talking about - oh, I'm not even going there. But seriously sick stuff.

  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Ljubljana is either in serbia or coatia. I think it's serbia. It used to be in yugoslavia and is that town where a bunch on teenagers swore that they spoke to the virgin mary, and became a huge tourist destination for the religiously insane. I was there years and years ago when it was yugoslavia. It's in the mountains, and believe me when I say, it's not much without it's crazy tourist trade.

    Malyasia IS full of perverts, methinks. Interesting, eh?

  • At 6:14 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Oh yeah, I absolutely HATE Ayn Rand. If you can read that drivel, more power to you. Me, no way, Jose.

  • At 6:16 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    I get some lovely search engine readers as well. And I struggle with the photos of my kids issues more than I ever thought I would need to. There are some really sick folk out there, yes indeed. I often wonder, though, how many of them are looking at my kids as we make our way through our day...whatever is on the net is in the real world too. And that reality totally sickens me.

  • At 6:49 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    On the reading front, my taste is totally lacking any style, so I won't offer good titles for you to read. Stephen King, Nora Roberts, Sandra Brown, and John Grisham don't look your thing. But hey, whatever floats your reading boat, right?

    Myself, I like Guitar Hero, until I have to listen to someone else playing it. And I can't play it unless the TV is turned up. And, that Freebird jag?? I LOATHE that song, and when I was playing career mode, I had to play it. My brain was numb before I was 3 notes into the song.

  • At 9:23 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Pat Conroy is my favorite author. I recommend Beach Music and The Water is Wide, too.

    I even enjoyed the movie version of The Prince of Tides.

  • At 10:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are wise to be worried. I've actually had stalkers show up at my house. Not perverts, thankfully, but animal rights nutjobs that were protesting my occupation (chemist). They followed me around for a few weeks. They leafleted my neighbors, other parents at daycare, etc etc.

    Some people are just insane. You better off limiting your kids exposure on your website. Definitely.

  • At 11:19 PM, Blogger Girlplustwo said…

    perhaps we can use the time the weirdos who find us in weirdo ways spend glancing at our blogs to teach them to find a new zen.

    it's just a thought i have sometimes. no real idea how to make it work out.

  • At 11:28 AM, Blogger said…

    Yes, people are sick.

    My guys love Guitar Hero, too. I have no tolerance for the same. freaking. song. to be played over and over.

  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger PunditMom said…

    Thanks for confessing your Karen Carpenter love. I can now feel safe about coming out of that closet, too! ;)

  • At 1:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I often think of turning off Google searches on my blog because of the nutjobs that end up there. Some people are seriously messed in the head.

    And as for Guitar Hero, my husband is totally addicted. Hearing the same songs over and over again is officially getting on my nerves.


  • At 3:07 AM, Blogger said…

    We have the bug again in our house.

    I hope we all finally get well soon and stay well.

    As for Guitar Hero, our neighbors have it, and that's close enough to my house for my liking, lol. I had enough Freebird in 8th grade to last a lifetime.

  • At 1:37 PM, Blogger Foofa said…

    If you were bored by The Fountainhead I wouldn't go for Atlas Shrugged. It is a longer and more boring version of a fantastic (in my opinion) book.


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