Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

It must be my recent angst over this whole blogging thing, because I consider myself a pretty honest person.

But yesterday, I lied. And it was a whopper.

Pubescent One had a ballgame last evening, and the parents, as usual, made idle chit chat while waiting for the game to start. There are quite a few parents that I don't know, because he is playing on a 14 year old team and I haven't had an opportunity to socialize with them over the course of many years, as I have with most of the 13 year old parents.

So, we are getting to know one another slowly. I will be spending a LOT of time with these folks throughout the summer, so I have been tryong to forge as positive a relationship with them as possible.

One gal, who recenlty left her job, was being flip and funny and asking each person in succession, "Where do you work and are they hiring?"

When she came to me, I said "Sorry, I'm self-employed and my salary doesn't really allow for any staff to speak of."

She politely asked what it is that I do.

And that's when I decided I just wasn't going to give the same old answer I have been giving for 13 years. I decided I just couldn't take seeing one more person's eyes go blank with disinterest. I decided I didn't want to be dismissed again, ever.

So I lied.

"I'm a writer."

"Oh really?" she said interestedly, "What do you write?"

I hadn't really thought that far ahead, but, in for a penny in for a pound, as the saying goes. I was obliged to continue.

"Well, I write parenting and education stuff, some related to learning disabilities, specifically ADD and ADHD. I write slice of life commentary, some social commentary, and occasionally I write about pop culture. I try to stay away from political stuff, but every now and then, I do write a political piece."

"Really? How interesting. What publications do you write for?"

Shit. Think fast, B.A. Think fast. Good lies are those that have a healthy dose of truth to them. Keep it simple, don't embellish too much.

"Well, I mostly publish in the online marketplace. I've built a pretty solid reputation there, and I get a fair amount of positive feedback on my work. But I would like to transition to print media sometime in the near future."

"Wow. That's so cool."

"Thanks. I enjoy it."

I should have felt bad because I lied. But the truth is, I didn't feel bad at all. I felt gratified. I spend an awful lot of time feeling like nothing I do matters and I realize that's just part and parcel of being a full time stay at home Mom and housewife.

I try not to let it bother me. But sometimes it really, really does.

Sometimes, I need to matter. Sometimes, I need to feel important.

Maybe God will strike me down for lying. But maybe...he can understand what its like to be overlooked and underappreciated.

Ummm, Sorry?...God.


  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Poppy said…

    You are a writer. There is no lie in that.

    We are all writers if we're writing down our thoughts and experiences.

    My boyfriend made me little "business cards" for a blogger function we were going to, and he asked me what I wanted written on them. After I told him what credentials to put on he insisted that "writer" be added to the list. "You're a writer," he said. And it took two days to sink in but now I believe it. :) (Kinda. ;)

  • At 2:38 PM, Blogger Alison said…

    I talked to God and He said you're not in trouble. ;-)

    You are a writer. You don't have to be paid for it (yet) for you to matter. What's wrong is her assumption that everyone identifies themselves by a job title.

  • At 2:41 PM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    A writer writes...always.

    It irks me that people are defined by what they do (or don't). It is but part of the entire person.

  • At 3:02 PM, Blogger Maureen Fitzgerald said…

    Have to say...don't see a lie in there. You ARE a writer and you DO get positive feedback in the online marketplace. And your salary probably wouldn't support a staff :)

    You are waaaaay too hard on yourself.

  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger merinz said…

    I can't see where the lie is! And youa re much appreciated too! :)

  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger jess said…

    I agree, where was the lie? You might have deliberately misled a teeny tiny bit, but there's definitely no lie in the fact that you are a writer, and a very good one.

    As for any possible future awkwardness, the fib-ee sounds like a decent sort,I bet she'll understand if you feel the need to clarify the details a bit at some point. ;) I think lots of women could relate that your feelings.

  • At 3:31 PM, Blogger Green-Eyed Momster said…

    You forgot to tell her that one of your fans (me) wants to start a fan club in your honor. I don't like the reaction from people when I tell them that I'm a SAHM. We should get a paycheck for doing the most important job in the world of keeping the next generation from killing themselves, you or other people. Jeeeze. I don't think you told a lie at all. One of your biggest(hopefully not literally) fans!! Hugs!

  • At 3:33 PM, Blogger Green-Eyed Momster said…

    Oh, and why didn't you tell her about the Diva cup or the Rabbit thingy? THE LOOK on her face would have made for a laugh!! Don't you think? I know, I'm bad!

  • At 3:45 PM, Blogger Cathy Burke said…

    You did NOT lie! You most definitely are a writer and from the sounds of your own job description you should be in Public relations. Now get back to work and write something (in between all the other thankless and non-paying jobs we self-employed moms have.

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger The Mighty Beluga said…

    my dear mother is a stay-at-home mom, and sometimes I can almost SMELL her frustration and other similar feelings that you have so eloquently penned. But then again, it could be the wonderful oven-roasted chicken that she had been preparing for dinner.

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger The Mighty Beluga said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You do matter.

  • At 5:16 PM, Blogger Notes and letters to myself.... said…

    Okay - so how did you lie?

    1. You write.
    a) here
    b) notes for school
    c) grocery lists
    d) love notes or dear asshole notes.

    The fact is you write.

    2. Online

    3. You write all the things you listed. And very well I might add.

    So screw Miss Flip. You have more zazazoo in your little finger than she will ever have.

    And goddammit you do matter.

  • At 5:50 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    I don't really think you lied. You do write about all those things and you are published. You just don't get paid for it. It's still a job and you still have a responsibility to do it or get stalked by your fans :)

  • At 7:12 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    It sounded like you were telling the truth to me. Sure, she probably had a different mental image of what you do...but still, you do all those things.

    Not a lie, just spin.

  • At 7:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with Christine - not a lie, just spin. People do that all the time. I thought your answers were fantastic!

    A writer is not a writer because she gets paid or because she has had her work published in print. You are most certainly a writer.

  • At 7:59 PM, Blogger Woman in a Window said…

    Ya, ya, what they all say. I was at work today (nothing luminous like being a writer, trust me) and I thought I saw someone from my past. It occured to me then that I would say the same b.s. I, I, I mean, truth in all its stretchiness. Instead, I hid. Who's going to hell, eh? Who? You who stepped up or me hiding behind the T-shirts?

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    Hey, just throw a few ads on your site and it's a paying job!

  • At 8:09 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    You didn't lie. You completely told the truth. You ARE a writer, and you do write about all those topics. Online. So far, all truth.

    Are you getting paid for it? Well, no, but that isn't what she asked, was it?

  • At 8:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If truth is defined as absolute, literal, and full disclosure, I must say I hope everybody lies. And frequently.

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said…

    You are a great writer. And I do NOT say that to all the girls.

    Hey, that quote over there by Zappa is about ROCK journalism, not journalism in general.

  • At 8:47 PM, Blogger Karen said…


    "Well, I mostly publish in the online marketplace. I've built a pretty solid reputation there, and I get a fair amount of positive feedback on my work. But I would like to transition to print media sometime in the near future."

    Sweetheart.... You didn't lie.

  • At 8:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Um...I'm missing the part where you lied BA. You rock. I'm even reading you on a night where my day has totally sucked and I just want to go to bed.

  • At 9:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with the other commenters...I read and read, looking for the lie, and you didn't lie, my friend. Guess you're off the hook! :) Laurie

  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    sounds like you're manifesting what you want....

  • At 9:41 PM, Blogger Crazed Nitwit said…

    You did not lie. You creatively interpreted what you do and you do write. Quite well.

    I know how it feels to not matter simply because I chose to raise my own children.

  • At 6:35 AM, Blogger Gross|Photo said…

    What, are you hallucinating? I don't see a lie in the bunch. You do fine in the online community, and also a pretty decent writer. I think you just wanted us to help you believe in yourself. Nicely done. Compliment, compliment. =)

  • At 10:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sending my applause for a job well done!

  • At 4:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wisconsin mommy said it all. Where the "lie" comes in is you not believing what you said. Perhaps a better phrase than "lie" is "positive spin" :-)

    You writer you.

  • At 11:30 PM, Blogger JCK said…

    You are a writer. A good one. And you described what you do well. Why do we always have to backpedal when we say we are stay at home moms or bloggers? As if those things aren't important contributions.

  • At 6:31 AM, Blogger Namito said…

    A writer, by definition, is someone who writes.

    You didn't say, "Harcourt has recently signed me for a series"

    You gave an accurate one minute bio on what it is you do. And are damn good at.

    Now that you have your bio,get together a portfolio of your best work and shop it around. Magazines, newspapers, book publishers. You want to get in print. Get a nice trash bin for the rejections, and go to, grrlfriend.

    Do what you want.

  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    So, where's the lie?

    Seriously - what you said has more truth than lie to it.

  • At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't think you lied. I think the only thing you did was omit the bit about not necessarily getting paid for what you write. But everything else you said is utterly, completely true.

    And I don't know if anyone else said it, but you matter. To those boys, you matter. To your husband, you matter. To us who read your words, you matter. Personally, I think it's sad that women who stay home with their kids still get the glazed over look from people when they say they're a SAHM. We have come so very far, and yet we still have so far to go.

    You matter to me.

  • At 2:59 PM, Blogger sltbee69 said…

    Just adding my 2 cents that I don't believe you lied for all the reasons everyone cited.

  • At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You didn't lie, you are a writer danggit!

  • At 4:49 PM, Blogger Major Bedhead said…

    I don't get paid for it, but I tell people I'm a writer, too. *shrug* So far, no bolts from on high.

  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger ..M.. said…

    You didn't lie!
    Perhaps you just don't see how important your writing is.
    That's no lie - you are a writer, and a good one, and you should be proud of it.
    I'd say it was a situation where the right answer landed on your lips at the right time!


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