Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Quick and Easy Geriatry

1 cheesy '80's romance movie.

1 child who was not alive when said movie was made.

10 years of living in a push button technological era.

Combine. Wait for child to make comment. Let comment sink in. Slowly curl into fetal position.

So...I happened to catch Sleepless In Seattle while flipping aimlessly in search of something interesting to watch. Yes, it's the cheesiest, sappiest, gratuitously tear jerkiest movie ever to come out of the eighties, but I forgive it and love it all the more for it.

Diminutive One wandered in and sat down to watch with me. Why, I don't know. I suspect he has a romantic streak, but he would never admit to it.

During one scene, plucky Meg Ryan (Annie Reed) is sitting at a typewriter, trying to compose a letter to Tom Hanks (Sam Baldwin). Frustrated with her efforts, she rips the paper out of the machine, balls it up, and tosses it over her shoulder.

Diminutive One turned to me with his freckled little nose crinkled in confusion and said,

"What is that thing? Doesn't it have a delete key?"

I guess I'll just give up now. There's no point coloring my hair and plucking my chin hairs and slathering my face with lotions and potions.

Because I will always have my children upon whom to rely for such innocent, but salient reminders of the fact that I, like typewriters, am becoming obsolete.

Once, they were sleek and sexy and coveted. Now, they are relics. Clunky, inefficient, and mostly...forgotten in basements and attics across America.

SIGH. I know how they feel.

(This is the exact typewriter that I received for my 13th birthday. I was thrilled to bits. I wonder where it is now. Probably in the basement. Or the attic.)


  • At 6:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Once upon a time, I was in love with the IBM Selectric typewriter. I was more than willing to talk it up to everyone who asked about typewriters.

    Sigh...That was a loooong time ago!

  • At 9:14 PM, Blogger (In)Sanity Gal said…

    In another Meg Ryan movie - You've Got Mail - her boyfriend (played by Greg Kinnear) is a writer and will only do his writing on a typewriter. Computers are NOT for him! Only with a typewriter is he able to feel truly inspired. My point, you ask? You're not old or out-dated. You're wise and inspiring and worthy of great respect. :)

  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    When my kids were in preschool, they used typewriters as TOYS. My kids were positive they were toys to play with and didn't believe me that this is what we had pre-computers.

  • At 10:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    On a recent trip to my brother's house, he and his (13 year-old) son were telling me a story about how they were fishing in a small boat in a relatively large body of water when storm clouds rolled in. They decided to head in when their motor wouldn't start. At that point in the story, I began to sing, "THE WEATHER STARTED GETTING ROUGH, THE TINY SHIP WAS TOSSED..." My brother laughed and my nephew said, "I don't get it." Of course I said it's the theme from Gilligan's Island. He said, "What's Gilligan's Island?"


  • At 6:16 PM, Blogger Notes and letters to myself.... said…

    I used to regularly ask my Mom what it was like in the "olden" days, and did they have electricity back then.

    She would be offended. We thought it was funny.

    Fast Forward to this year.

    HRH says to me (he is 7), Mom's what was it like in the olden days?

    "What do you mean son?"

    "Well you know, when you had VHS tapes instead of DVD's"

    I was offended.

    He thought it was funny.

    Ahhh the circle of life, Blog Antagonist, the circle of life.

  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    I miss my typewriter, the physicality of it. You know?

  • At 6:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We have a typewriter under our bed for forms, but I wonder if we could even find a replacement ribbon at this point?

  • At 8:05 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    And I was thinking today that my son has no idea what a cassette tape is.

  • At 9:09 PM, Blogger Laura K. said…

    LOL - I was just reminiscing about this a few days ago with a friend. Remember those god forsaken white squares that we had to type over to fix any errors we made? Or the way you could ball up all the little arms on the manual typewriters? And I remember my mom's electric back when I was in high school - that thing hummed really loud when it was turned on. Those were the days. You, like the modernday typewriter (ie. computer) are just getting better with time.

  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger Tania said…

    Oh come on. He was joking. Right? RIGHT???

  • At 5:10 PM, Blogger Day Dreamer said…

    I had a Brother. I was so impressed that it corrected entire words at a time...

    I refuse to give up our VCR tapes. My youngest (2yr old)still watches some of them. Even he gets annoyed at the time it takes to rewind.

    Now that we have a DVR for our tv, my kids get annoyed that I listen to the actual radio. We can't pause and rewind THAT!


    Why is it that we have gadgets that do things we need to do in half the time, but we seem to have less spare time leftover yet!?

    I don't get it....

  • At 6:47 PM, Blogger Mike said…

    Remember having to replace the ribbon in those things? Ink all over the place, the desk, your clothes, your hands. What a mess...

  • At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ha. That's horrible and hilarious at the same time. I had a typewriter for a while, too, but it was after I had a computer as well. I just found typewriters to be terribly romantic. Why? No idea.

  • At 6:38 AM, Blogger Woman in a Window said…

    The 80's? Fur real? Ah gawd!

    I let my kids buy old shit at yardsales. They each have an old typewriter. Never a question as to how or why. They just plug away at them. (This is my insurance to never grow old.) When their friends visit they're miffed. Big HUHS come floating down the stairs. (Note to self, outlaw friends.)

  • At 9:18 AM, Blogger Shelley Jaffe said…

    Ah, the satisfying click, click, click of the typewriter. The even more satisfying 'thwack' of the return bar.

    Nostalgically, I loved mine. But I wouldn't trade my backspace key for all the t in China (especially that new "Melamine" blend...).

    Thanks for the memories. What say I buy you a nice, tall glass of Metamucil, granny?

  • At 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have him watch another Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan classic You've Got Mail. Meg Ryan (ShopGirl) will convince him of the beauty of books and her boyfriend at the beginning of the movie, Frank Devasky, will explain the beauty of an "Olympia Report Deluxe in gunshot"

  • At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sleepless in Seattle - 1993.

    Not the 80s.

  • At 6:14 AM, Blogger Christie D. said…

    Um, video tapes and cassette tapes are still a very normal and essential part of our lifestyle... ! I knew I was behind the times, but still!!! I now find myself having to doublecheck that my kids understand the meaning of the expression, "You sound like a broken record."

    I had fun telling my kids about that mimeograph machine (or whatever it was called)... I can remember going to the school office in elem. school, and seeing teachers making "copies" by turning the handle around and around on a big rotating drum, involving something purplish.

  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger Not Afraid to Use It said…

    I think at some point in my children's academic future I will but a typewrite just like the one you showed. When my kids give me shit about not want to write a book report or essay, I'm going to make them start on one of these dinosaurs. They are going to learn they are damned lucky to have a computer to use, and it they bitch about having to do their homework they can to it the easy way (computer) or the hard way. And yes, I am saving for my kids' therapy bills already.


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