iRony

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My oldest son is not the most trustworthy kid in terms of keeping track of his belongings. Part of this is just because he's a kid, but it's also due to his ADD. Though he takes medication and it helps a great deal, he still has difficulty with certain things.

I've lost things, of course. Once, when I was 9 years old, I lost a brand new pair of glasses. I hadn't had them two hours. The worst part was that I had wheedled my mother into letting me get a pair of frames they really couldn't afford. I absolutely dreaded telling my mother I had lost them. To my amazement and relief, she did not get mad. All she said was, "I'm afraid we'll have to get the less expensive frames this time."

I try to remember that when my kids lose something. But it drives me crazy, and quite often, I end up lecturing.

He has lost approximately 17 lunch boxes, 27 pairs of gloves and 11 hats. He has lost a Gameboy and a portable CD player. He has come home from sleepovers with an empty backpack and in this manner we have lost 3 pairs of blue jeans, countless pairs of socks and underwear and at least one pillow case. I won't even get into how many jackets and sweatshirts he has lost. I don't have enough fingers.

Two Christmases ago, my husband suggested that we get him a bat he had been coveting. He was in a major hitting slump, which resolved when he began using a teammate's bat. He was convinced the bat was responsible. I agreed. Usually, my kids receive one pretty sizeable gift each Christmas along with several smaller items and I hadn't yet hit upon a good idea for him that year. My enthusiasm diminished when I found out that this bat, an Easton "Stealth", cost over $200. Along with the aforementioned items, he has also lost 3 baseball gloves, 2 bats, and 4 pairs of batting gloves. I didn't think that placing a $200 bat in the hands of a child who can scarcely keep himself clothed was a particularly wise thing to do.

Amazingly, the bat is still accounted for.

Last year, we bought him an iPod Nano for Christmas. It was given with the understanding that it would NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE. It's tiny and the potential for misplacement (or theft) is just too great. For a while, he obeyed that edict without question. When he entered Middle School however, and discovered that he posessed an item that afforded him a much desired coolness, he began sneaking it to school. Last week I caught him. He had left it in his backpack and while cleaning the kitchen one day, I heard strains of music issuing forth. He was busted by the real Slim Shady.

So I confiscated the iPod for an undetermined period of time, pending discussion with Husband.

I lost it.

It's in the house somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can figure out where. I put it on top of the fridge until I could locate a suitable hiding place. It's not there anymore, and I have searched high and low. All my usual hiding places are empty. It has vanished into thin air.

And like that day so long ago when I lost my glasses, I absolutely dreaded telling him that I had lost his iPod. After all the times I had lectured him about being responsible, about losing things we spend our hard earned money on...it made me a little sick.

But I had to come clean and so I admitted that I couldn't find it. I expected a tantrum. I expected sulking. I expected him to relish the irony and lord my hypocriscy over me until the end of time. I expected to be guilted into granting any number of special favors and/or privileges until at last I had demonstrated that I was sufficiently chastened and contrite.

All he said was "That's alright Mom. Everybody loses stuff. It'll turn up."

Damn. He's good.