Time Passages

Can someone please explain to me, how this sweet little baby could possibly be old enough to have had his first date Saturday night?

A lot of you have babies, toddlers, even grade schoolers. And I know, you think you have so much time.

You don't.

You think you'll cherish every moment, remember every first, relish every milestone.

You won't.

You think that you will never again have a second to yourself, your life will never be your own, and you'll never enjoy the luxury of sleeping through the night ever again.

You will.

The years go by like quicksilver. Trite but true; time flies on wings so swift and stealthy one scarcely has time to realize that life is passing with diconcerting relentlessness.

Yesterday. It was only yesterday.

I remember this photo session. He couldn't even sit up and I was crouched behind him with his bum cradled in one hand, and the other in the small of his back. He smelled of powder and breastmilk, sweetly mingled to create that special, heady baby perfume.

The photographer had a hard time getting his attention because he was so intrigued and puzzled by my presence on the floor behind him. The bear clutched in his dimpled hands was meant to divert his attention, and it worked. He was tickled pink by the fuzzy little critter. His open mouthed baby smile was really a shriek of delight. It still rings in my ears.

Despite the clarity with which I can recall these moments, my son has, nevertheless, become a boy on the brink of manhood.

His hands are larger than mine. They are no longer chubby little starfish. They have taken on that grown up look of strength and competence. Those impossibly large hands will one day cradle the head of his own newborn child. They will hold another small hand as they cross a busy street. They will steady a heavy bat, or balance a wobbly ballerina.

His shoulders are broad and bony and will be weighted with adult burdens soon. His legs are impossibly long, feet ridiculously large. Now they make him clumsy and awkward. Someday, they will make him seem like an invinceable giant as a little neck cranes upward.

His date's parents (and chaperones for the evening) came to the door when they picked him up. As we talked, he and his lady love blushed and grinned at each other. The air between them hung heavy and electric.

And when they left, I felt my lower lip tremble...just a little.

"Baby...." said husband.

"Well I can't help it!" I said defensively.

He hugged me then, and held me a smidge longer than usual. And then we drank wine and slipped into the new and uncomfortable skin of parents waiting for their offspring to return home safe and whole.

Yesterday. It was only yesterday.