The Gospel of Understanding

I don't often change my mind.

I'm a born skeptic, a doubter. So when at last I decide that I believe something, it is with unshakeable conviction and certainty borne of exhaustive research and soul-searching. In other words, I don't believe or disbelieve lightly.

Recently, I posted about the issue of science and spirituality and how to explain it to my children. I asked for people to share their thoughts, and got some good responses. I linked to those responses in a post below.

I was re-reading some of those links, and was disconcerted to find that one of my readers, A Christian, was having second thoughts about linking to my blog, though she expressed enjoyment of my writing, because of some of the beliefs represented in my sidebar.

I'll be honest, I was really pissed off at first. Typical judgemental Christian bullshit, I thought. But after I calmed down a bit, I went and re-read the post, and tried to see the issue from her perspective. Would I link to a blog that espoused a view I found to be morally reprehensible? No. I wouldn't. And I wouldn't give it much thought either.

But she did.

She wrestled with her decision. She questioned her motives and her right to judge me. She chastised herself for being presumptuous and arrogant. Why? Because she felt compelled to pray for me. In other words, she acted exactly the opposite of what I have come to expect from (many, not all)Christians.

I stopped being pissed.

I posted a response on her blog, hoping to open the lines of communication between us. She responded with a heartfelt email, and we had a very nice conversation. I came away feeling that we had furthered understanding between us. It felt good.

One thing she expressed in her email was that one of my buttons...



made her feel angry and hurt. She felt that the saying implied that Christians are blind followers who can't think for themselves. That they don't question and they don't seek answers. That they are limited in their scope of understanding and intelligence.

I was surprised, because that is not how I interpreted the saying at all. I believe strongly in separation of Church and State for several reasons. First, because America is not homogenous. Every day we become more and more diverse; ethnically, culturally, religiously. By allowing prayer in schools we create and promote the ideal that Christianity is the gold standard of spirituality, which alienates children who do not practice Christianity and forces them to engage in practices that may be in direct opposition to the teachings of their own religion.

Secondly, I do not believe anyone, particularly children, should have to defend their beliefs publicly. They should be able to go to school and learn without having to fear reprisal, judgement and bias for issues largely beyond their control.

To me, the button means, Church is for worship, school is for learning. It means that I, as a non-Christian would not enter a church and start preaching the gospel of evolution, because I understand and respect that the church is a haven for Christians where they practice and share their faith. It is not meant to be a place of diversity. It is not appropriate for me to disregard that to pursue my own objectives. It's rude. It's disrespectful. It's wrong. It means that I expect the same respect in return, and if it isn't given, then I will take it by fighting for my right NOT to be subjected to religious teachings in a secular environment.

My stance on that has not changed, but I have realized that she is right about the button being unnecessarily insulting and contentious. I didn't put it there to anger or alienate Christians, but it seems that is exactly what I have done. So I have decided not to remove it, but to change it to something less....pissy.



I think it gets the point accross without being in-your-face confrontational. I hope.

Apparently, my views on homosexuality and abortion are problematic for Christians as well. Again, these are issues that I feel very strongly about.

I would like to share that I am not pro-abortion, and I am not pro-life, which is why I was very careful not to put a button representing either in my sidebar. The button I have choesen promotes Reproductive Freedom by upholding the right to CHOOSE. I would not choose abortion because of my own experiences, but as with everything, my choice is not the right choice for everyone. Therefore, I have no right to decide for anyone but myself.

The issue of gay rights is, for many reasons, very near and dear to my heart. I have written about it, and it explains many of my feelings, as well as the history of how my belief evolved. But what it doesn't tell, is that right now one of my deartest friends in the whole world is struggling with her recent decision to come out. The repercussions have been heartwrenching. I want her not to hurt anymore. And maybe someday she won't have to.

Christians, like you, I have to be true to who I am and what I believe. So while I will regret very much if someone chooses not to read or link to my blog despite the fact that they enjoy reaading it, simply because my beliefs differ from their own, I can't and won't change to mollify or hold onto readers. But I do want you to know that proclaiming my own beliefs is not an attempt to impugn yours. I admire and respect your beliefs even if I don't share them. I hope that you can extend me same courtesy.

Thank you to that certain Christian for being so open minded and understanding. For respecting me as a person even if she can't agree with my views. For hating the sin, and not the sinner. And yes, for praying for me.

Peace everyone.