Logic

Yesterday afternoon, I was making a list, preparing to go to the grocery store.

I try to avoid the grocery store on weekends because it's such a madhouse. And invariably, there are but two cashiers. Fifteen baggers, but two cashiers. Plus, all the teenagers work on the weekends, and I dislike listening to them try to one up one another as I am held hostage in a line that is moving at a snail's pace. I know it's what they do. It's what I did. But I'm old now and it bugs me.

But this week was kind of crazy, due to bad weather, postponed ball games, and car problems. All the staples were depleted so I had very little choice if we wanted to eat.

As I was making my list, Pre-Pubescent One asked,

"Hey Mom, can you get some Lucky Charms?"

He very, very rarely asks for sweets or junk food. He's long and lean, without an ounce of fat on him. So, when he makes a request, I usually don't mind granting it. I added Lucky Charms to my list.

Then Diminutive One chimed in,

"Could you get some Toaster Strudel and Poptarts? And some of those chocolate chip muffins too."

Now, Dimiuntive One...he has a sweet tooth a mile wide. He is contstnatly on the prowl for junk. When he was a toddler, he had a secret stash. If I refused him a snack, which, given the frequency of his requests, was a pretty regular occurance, he would turn up only moments later, munching away on some sugary morsel.

We had figured out pretty quickly that he was a sugar fiend, and had the cabinets locked up tighter than Fort Knox. So I could not for the life of me figure out how he was getting stuff. One day, purely by chance, I discovered his little treasure trove behind one of the recliners.

It's a daily battle to keep his sugar intake at a minimum and to get some organic matter into him.

So I replied, sarcastically,

"How about if I just inject the sugar directly into your veins?"

He looked at me speculatively for a moment and then said,

"Would that be faster?"