Quirky Is As Quirky Does

Life is all kinds of crazy this week.

I always said I wouldn't throw up any old post, just to satisfy my readers. I always said I wouldn't compromise the quality of my content for popularity or be a slave to my audience.

Apparently, I lied.

Because here it is Tuesday, three days after my last post, and I'm feeling a little anxious about it.

So here is the conundrum: Do I wait until I have time to sit down and write something thought provoking and substantive...which, at this rate, could be Labor Day, or...do I throw up something flip and pithy to satisfy you all and keep you coming back for more. Assuming you like flip and pithy, of course.

It's a problem. A real problem.

I'm going with flip and pithy.

I kind of like my readers. I'm biased of course, but I think I get some of the most interesting and thoughtful comments that I've seen. I'd like it if you stuck around. And if there's one thing I've learned about blogging, it's that letting a blog languish is the kiss of death when it comes to readership.

I was sort of thinking about this topic anyway. I've been doing a lot of cleaning the last couple of days, and stimulating though that is, my mind...she wanders.

I'm quirky.

I hope quirky is a type of cute and lovable crazy, rather than institution grade madness, since I seem to have more than my fair share of oddball behaviors. I'm going to list a couple or ten and then, I'm going to ask you to share one with me. Because lunacy misery loves company.

1. I cannot slice things uniformly to save my life. Bread, tomatoes, cheese, fruit...it all ends up looking as if I plan to use it to level stuff.

2. I like clumpy mascara. Because it needs to be clumpy if I'm going to pick it off while I'm watching television or blogging. Sometimes, I deliberately put on too much so I can pick it off later.

3. I have to sleep with three pillows. I have one upon which to lay my head, but then I have one on either side of me as well. It's a little cocoon of security. I'm a side sleeper you see, and I don't like to leave my back exposed, particularly if it faces a closet. But, it's also so that I have a hugging pillow on either side of me, thus eliminating the need to constantly reposition a single pillow. Husband and I do not sleep together due to snoring (his) so I can indulge this quirk. When we travel however, it can be a problem.

4. Speaking of closets, I can't sleep with the closet door open. Something about seeing that gaping black maw in the darkness makes me think of the gateway to hell.

5. I can't get into a clean bed dirty. If I have put clean sheets on the bed, then I must shower, even if I showered that morning. My family does not see the merits of this practice and I often have to browbeat them into bathing begrudgingly before bed, accustomed as they are to morning showers.

6. I don't like it when my fingernails extend over the end of my fingers. It grosses me out because stuff accumulates under there; dirt, food, make-up...ICK. I'm nto really a germophobe, but the thought of all the bacteria breeding....Occasionally, I get a wild hair and decide to get acrylic nails. They usually last about three days before I start trying to pry them off. I will never have beautifully manicured hands.

7. I am a chronic birthday forgetter. I would forget my own kids' birthdays if they didn't remind me every day for three weeks prior. You know those cards that proclaim "Sorry I forgot your birthday!" ? Those were made just for me. I've spawned an entire industry with my affliction. This is an inherited trait, as my mother is the same way.

8. I don't like to be barefoot, even in the house. I can't stand it when stuff sticks to the bottom of my feet.

9. I can't stand peas. They make me gag, literally. If I was being held captive by ruthless criminals who gave me the choice of eating peas or being tortured? I'd have to choose the torture.

I also don't like beans, for the same reason that I don't like peas, with the exception of the garden variety green. It's the texture. I don't like the way the skin pops and then the mushiness oozes out onto my tongue. ((shudder))

Stranely, I do enjoy split pea and lentil soups.

10. I have a profound fear of death, but I am morbidly fascinated with all things pertaining to it. Zombie and vampire lore fascinate me to no end. But Funerals are very difficult for me. Sometimes I feel physically ill at them.

There you go. Now you know what a nutjob I am, though it could be worse, I suppose. At least I'm not eating wallpaper paste or wearing my bathrobe to the grocery store.

I am going to have coffee with a new-ish acquaintance this morning, and I am far more excited by this prospect than any person should be. I really need to get out more.

I hope she doesn't find out about my slicing handicap or my unfortuante mascara habit.