Blasphemous Rumors

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die, I expect to find him laughing

.

(Lots of bloggy high fives if you get the reference)

Never mind when I die, he's laughing at me right. flippin. now. See, I think he's been reading my blog, and he's decided to mess with me a little bit. What? God can't have a sense of humor? Proof is everywhere. Male pattern baldness. Haute Couture. Penises.

Anyway, apparently, tangling with internet Christians was not enough of a lesson for me. God decided I needed a practical lesson in dealing with the recently born again.

Around here, baseball is played in the Spring and Fall, and my boys have just started their fall league. Diminutive One's Coach is new to the park. His son is only six and had previously only played in a church league. The team Mom is his wife, who immediately struck me as a very outgoing and friendly person with a good sense of humor. I liked her. Notice the past tense.

At the first practice, she asked for everyone's email address, stating that she lived and died by email. I was relieved to find that she is computer literate. I also do a great deal of my day to day business by email and it makes organization much easier for me. The first email I recieved from her had a hyperlink in the signature for a Christian Ministry website. No biggie. I was free to click or not click. I chose not to click.

Later that day Husband IM'd me from work asking if I had gone to the website. The tone of his voice told me that was something was up. He said simply, "It's interesting. You might want to take a look." Hmmm. We've been married long enough for me read between the lines pretty well and what I got from that was that these folks aren't your ordinary run of the mill Christians. I clicked.

What I found was a website chronicling years of mental illness, suicide attempts, and health crises, including many failed pregnancies. It was extremely personal and sensitive information, and not the kind of thing I would share with casual acquaintances. But, I understood that being saved helped her overcome these adversities, and she wished to reach out to others who might be stuggling with similar issues to testify to the power of faith and prayer. It's still not something I would have shared until I was better acquainted with folks, but, she is she and I am me. I didn't really think much more about it and honestly, it didn't alter my opinion of her, except maybe to give me a bit more respect for her. Her story made me see that she is a strong woman, and I dig strong women.

A week later, after having only spoken to her TWICE very briefly, I received an email at my personal email address, which I gaurd ferociously and give out to only a handful of select individuals, with spam from her ministry. The email spoke of a "new chapter" that they have added...and asked that we forward this email to everyone in our address books regardless of who they are and where they live. They also advertised their availability for public speaking engagements in the email. And the kicker is...they shared that they had found a publisher for her book, but that the exorbitant fees were beyond their means and so, they are accepting "love offerings".

I was, quite honestly, pissed off beyond all measure and I don't think I have to explain to you all the reasons why it was highly inappropriate. Still, I tried to be calm and approach the issue rationally. I told myself that she probably didn't mean to be rude or presumptuous. Some people truly have no sense of propriety. I once read that Einstein was almost inhumanly brilliant, but had to be told to change his underwear. So, I decided to just politely ask her to remove me from her ministry's mailing list and let that be the end of it. Here is what I said,

Hi Christian,

Could you please remove me from SuperDuperMinistries.com's mailing list? I wish you the best of luck with getting your book published. As always, I am happy to help with any team related issues.

Sincerely,

B.A.

I got a very terse reply almost immediately. It said simply,

NOT A PROBLEM.

I knew that those capital letteers did not bode well. I just knew it. It was quite clear that is was indeed...a problem. But I tried to shrug it off. Maybe she was trying to answer email while the pasta water was boiling over and the toddler was fingerpainting on the wainscotting with the contents of his diaper and the toilet was overflowing from having matchbox cars flushed down it. It happens.

A couple hours later another email arrived. It was addressed to only ten (me, and I assume the 9 others who asked her to remove them) of the original 23 recipients (she had either not bothered or didn't know how to blind CC) stating that she had sent the first email by using the select all option not thinking about the fact that she had not set up a separate folder for "Testimony". Alright...I suppose it's possible that she only has 23 contacts in her address book, 11 of whom were team members. It went on to say that they did not intend to offend anyone or solicit funds. I found it much harder to be charitable about that assertion, but I kept reading. It then said that they would not apologize for their faith or her mental illness. It was decidedly defensive and snippy. It was a qualified apology and I don't dig those.

I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I considered letting it go. I really did. But it pissed me off all over again because she was avoiding accountability by implying that she was being persecuted for her religious beliefs and her mental health status. It bugged me a lot because I try VERY hard to be accepting of others' beliefs. I don't always succeed and sometimes I am influenced by prejudices and preconceived ideals in regard to Christianity. But I do try.

So I talked to Husband about it. I expressed my feelings to him and I told him I didn't think I could let it go. He said that he supported me if I felt the need to pursue it.

So I emailed her back. Here is what I said:

Hi Christian,

Thanks for the explanation. I just want to clarify that neither Husband nor I were offended by your email. Though we do not share your faith, we respect and admire it, as well as your strength in overcoming such difficult issues. As I said, we both sincerely wish you continued good health and success in getting your book published.

We simply wish not to receive emails unrelated to baseball, as that is the purpose for which we provided our personal email addresses.

Thank you for your understanding. See you at the game on Saturday!

Sincerely,

B.A.

I did receive another email in reply, but it was largely incoherent, either because she was so angry she couldn't see straight to type, or because something else very wrong was going on. She did manage to convey that she "got my meaning" and that she "preferred this was the end of it." Well you know what? I "prefer" that it had never started.

The whole thing bothered me. A lot. I stewed about it for several days and Husband couldn't understand why it bothered me so much. I knew she would be distant and unfriendly now because of the incident and because I am not a Christian. I just knew it. And it bummed me out. I liked her and I had thought we could be friends. I discussed the issue with several Christian friends whose perspectives I value, and whom I can always count on to be honest. They said that I handled it well and that if she allowed the incident to color her view of me that was HER problem and that she needed to work a little harder on loving her neighbor.

Today at the game I resolved to be friendly and act as if it the whole thing was water under the bridge. There were one or two instances where she had to speak to me about team business, but it was brief and very curt. I decided to address her directly, and made a casual remark about something inconsequential. She looked away. I was very pointedly being ignored. Another parent, who was on our team last year when I was team Mom, noticed and raised her eyebrows in surprise at her rudeness. But I wasn't surprised.

I honestly don't know where to go from here. I can accept that she and I will not be friends now, and may well be enemies. We can co-exist in stony politeness, speaking only when necessary. Or I can approach her personally and express my desire to work through the issue so we can put it behind us and be, if not friends, at least understanding and respectful of one another.

I have no problem with doing that. But I wonder if it's even worth the effort. Part of me thinks yes, absolutely. It's always worth the effort to further understanding and tolerance of one another. And part of me says that I am better of without judgemental and small-minded people such as her in my life. One person isn't going to change her and sadly, because of the overwhelming prevailance of Christianity, and an abundance of individuals willing to support and even encourage her behavior, she doesn't need to change if she doesn't want to.

So. Is God punishing me for my smugness in handling that last little snafu so satisfactorily? Is he trying to bring me down a peg? Or is he just having a little fun with me? So...you think you have Christians all figured out, do you B.A.? Well...try this 'lil gal on for size!

Sing it with me....

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die, I expect to find him laughing.